In November of 2006, the undefeated Ohio State Buckeyes played the undefeated Michigan Wolverines in front of a raucous crowd in the Horseshoe.   For the first time in the glorious history of the two programs, the two teams occupied the top two spots in the polls, with the Buckeyes narrowly edging out the Wolverines in the BCS poll.   In what was dubbed as the game of the century (stop me if you have heard this since), the Buckeyes outlasted the Wolverines 42-39, spawning talk in college football amongst the fans and the pundits alike for a rematch for the BCS title.  At the time, Florida was 12-1 and had just survived a daunting SEC schedule, and predictably, the campaigning began.  Urban Meyer, then coach of the Florida Gators, suggested his squad deserved a shot in the BCS title game, noting “That other team (Michigan) had its shot,’’We belong in the game.’’  Then-Gators receiver Percy Harvin chimed in: “Michigan already had its chance. I think we deserve a chance.”  Florida president Bernie Machen, also a biased commentator, added: “If they don’t vote for us after tonight, we need a new system. We should be packing our bags for Glendale.”

Just five short years later, many are in fact calling for a new system, though it’s unlikely those cries hail from south of the Mason Dixon line, as this year the Broken Cash Scheme has indeed conjured up a rematch, not so affectionately dubbed Field Goal Fest II– a rematch between two SEC teams, Alabama and Louisiana State.  Whining about a broken computer system or penning an op ed piece in the local fish wrap about a utopian playoff system is not the way to get the attention of the BCS gatekeepers–what will is turning off the tv sets en mass, and here’s why you should do it. Read the rest of this entry »

In a Pole Position first, yours truly welcomes a guest writer and devout Wolverine fan to debate point and counter-point the 108th meeting of “The Game”. Though we have been friends now for 11 years, Taylor and I have not so much as watched the game together once, and for good reason–the thought of having the other around in the event of a loss was possibly too much to swallow. But with the holidays upon us, and hopefully the temperance that comes with old age and maturity, we will not only watch the game together, we will do so in Ann Arbor at Michigan Stadium.  Ahead of the game, we share our perspectives in this point counter-point (and as for that maturity thing, well see the thing is, it don’t exist).

Insert one Legends and Leaders joke here if you have any new ones left.  Please, let’s all gather around the campfire and tell stories about those legendary Midwest values, I just can’t get enough of that shit.  Just when you thought it was all about the almighty dollar, we find out that there are other things that matter to those individuals so completely and utterly devoid of a human soul–that other thing being, it turns out,  the stealing of said souls from society’s most trusting and vulnerable members.  Time to close out the offshore accounts Jimmy “Shawshank-style” and get while the gettin’ is good because your “Legends” and “Leaders” are determined to sink the B1G Ten’s battleship (or perhaps, it was only a pt boat all along). Read the rest of this entry »

 

Even Frank Costanza Knew that $12 Million Dollars for Hideki “I Rob You” was a bad deal.

The year was 1990.  When the Oakland A’s added Willie McGee and Harold Baines in late season trades, teaming with Mark McGwire, Jose Canseco, and rookie of the year Walt Weiss, every pundit with a byline in the local fish wraps was already handing the championship trophy to those Bay area bullies.  The moves were seen as so lopsided at the time, that one player on a rival team commented, “who else did they get, Frank Viola?”  (the “sweet music” of pitching maestro Frankie V helped him earn a Cy Young award in 1988 and was generally regarded as one of the best pitchers of his era).  The way the pundits figured it, such a star-studded lineup like that couldn’t possibly lose.  The problem was, the Cincinnati Reds did not get the memo—the heavily favored A’s didn’t win one game in the fall classic.

Despite this example, and countless others, fans continue to believe that the acquisition of stars, primarily through free agency, is the quickest path to a championship in pro sports.  But just like grandma’s advice that a good skull cap can ward off the winter cold, this inaccurate wives’ tale persists to this day.  As Einstein said, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. Read the rest of this entry »

In the second part of Quentin Tarantino’s revenge opus, we see a flashback of the pregnant Bride (Uma Thurman) rehearsing for her wedding.  Her former boss Bill (David Carradine) — who trained the Bride to be one of his killers in the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad — drops in to speak with the Bride, his former lover, before she gets hitched. They have a tense and terse conversation on the porch of the Texas church before she introduces him to her new lover.  The scene turns into a bloodbath in which the Bride and her wedding guests are left for dead.

This shotgun wedding was nothing compared to the mess that awaits college football as that famous four letter network climbs into bed with the number one grossing athletic department in the country, the real life merging of Boardwalk and Park Place in the multi-billion dollar enterprise that is college football.  For some time now the line between journalism and capitalistic enterprise has been seriously distorted by the World Wide Leader in sports related revenue.  Now, as ESPN becomes the major stakeholder in the Texas Longhorns Network (TLN hereafter), the once blurred line has been completely obliterated.  If the rest of the conference ‘s fans already thought the Big Twelve was all about Texas, they ain’t seen nothing yet. Read the rest of this entry »

(6/8/2011) In January of 2003, a little known and even less recruited gangly chemistry nerd from Sterling Heights Michigan helped capture the hearts and minds of a “Nation” when he helped The Ohio State Buckeyes end a 34 year drought by beating a dynastic Hurricane team in an epic game for the ages.  For Buckeye Nation, it almost seems like that fading memory was but a figment of our imagination.  At the time, it seemed like a worthy debate as to whether it was more improbable that such a kid could lead the Buckeyes to a championship or whether a coach in only his second season could pull off such a trick.   Such debates are but a luxury for The Nation now left to wonder, how did it all go so wrong?

It all started with a press conference of sorts.  In February of 2008, a dual-threat quarterback from the Keystone state, seated next to his mother, called a press conference just to let us know that he was delaying his decision on where he was going to matriculate.  At the time, a two sport star from Jeanette High School in Pennsylvania, Pryor was the number one recruit in the country and all ESPN could talk about (ESPN 8 was originally the Terrelle Pryor Network.  Okay, not really, but that day may not be too far off).  I remember thinking back then, is this kid worth all of the trouble?  I can now answer that question. Read the rest of this entry »

(5/31/2011)  Face it Buckeye fans, it’s us against the world at this point.  The one true axiom in sports is that if you have sustained success, you and yours will be hated. Those who read my work know that I made no excuses for the current Ohio State regime, laughing at the not so comical press conference that more resembled a bad Abbott and Costello routine.  While one ought to be able to peddle their wares on the open market (we’re still a capitalist country, are we not?  For some reason, punishing kids for selling trinkets* for a few dollars for food and tattoos when Fiesta Bowl officials took lavish trips and paid for lap dances seems just a bit hypocritical to this guy, but I digress), this is the NCAA, and what makes sense in any other walk in life has no place in this discussion.  Still, all of that said, once the rules have been established, if you are found to have broken them, you must pay the price.  The question for the Buckeye faithful now is, how does the school avoid being blown up by the NCAA in August?

The answer, make sure you aren’t infected with the Trojan virus.

Faced with boxes and boxes of allegations, the University of Spoiled Children acted just like the moniker, first thumbing their nose publically at the NCAA, then hiring a coach currently under investigation at his previous place of employment, albeit for a shoe box full of minor violations.  Borrowing a theme from a famous Seinfeld episode, officials at The Ohio State University should study the Trojan plan and do the opposite.  My strategy, stated succinctly, which is already fully under way, is to blame everything on the previous regime (read, not just the coach) and to fall on your sword.  But because I watched that circus of a press conference when this story first broke, I’ll spoon feed the plan to the Ohio State Board of Trustees which can be stated succinctly as follows: distance yourself not just from Jim Tressel, but from EVERYONE in the present regime while being the anti-Trojan.  With that in mind, here are my seven particulars: Read the rest of this entry »

“The one thing they love more than a hero is to see a hero fail, fall, die trying.  In spite of everything you’ve done for them, eventually they will hate you. Why bother.”  –  The Green Goblin

Those who read my work regularly know that I did not defend Jim Tressel for lying, or cover for The Ohio State University for the circus that was the now infamous press conference (from Gordon Gee’s mistaken belief that it was open mike night to AD Smith choosing to expound on the man’s virtues at the precise moment JT was not detailing his now infamous lie to the NCAA, it was a complete and utter embarrassment for the University).  It is wrong to lie, and when you get caught, you should be punished accordingly—even little kids know this to be true.

If it were up to me, trying to be objective, I would increase JT’s suspension to cover all of 2011 (if you are the leader of men, your punishment should be more serious), vacate five wins (for the games the players should not have been available to play in 2010 based on their eventual suspension), strip OSU of their Big Ten title and Sugar Bowl win (yes SEC fan, you can once again claim that Arkansas is a full-pledged member of your fine conference), increase the fine and donate it to charity (the present fine doesn’t even cover the bonus Tressel earned for winning the Big Ten and a BCS bowl), but nothing more (no, the death penalty won’t be instituted and the school shouldn’t lose scholarships as the root of the lie was not a recruiting violation).

But the cannibalization of Jim Tressel by “his family” does not sit well with me.  Here is but one example of an email sent to the Columbus Dispatch: Read the rest of this entry »